We are handed a “blueprint” when we start out our lives – from our family, community, culture at large – that tells us a certain set of what to expect from life and how to operate. Events (negative and positive) shape and alter some of the blueprint and we continue into adulthood often very poorly equipped for relationships and for finding a great and meaningful life.
That “blueprint” is changeable. The process is not often easy, but it is simple. Psychotherapy can help to examine, understand and ultimately redesign the blueprint you live by.
We don’t always get new information in order to grow and learn in relationships, and so it can be easy to get stuck in a loop. New information and tools are the only way out of that repeating loop. There are many ways to get that new learning – it can be from a pastor at church or a trusted mentor or elder…also psychotherapy. One of the only reasons therapists have a job at all is because of a lot of us live in a isolated, compartmentalized way where only surface aspects of ourselves or shared or only the “positive” or success related things. Struggle is too often hidden in shame or seen as a weakness because “no one else seems to have such a hard time” – well, everyone struggles. People don’t often open up and share when they struggle which is not only unnatural, it is a huge missed opportunity. It is a missed opportunity to get closer and to teach as well as learn. It is a crucial part of being human and of growing. Difficult things that happen are part of life – life is messy and organic and is not meant to be a point of shame. Our struggle if handled and viewed in a healthy way is not only normal, but is an extremely valuable step in your life towards a great and fulfilling life…especially if one is free to see it as valuable and important instead of a setback.
How we see things can keep us stuck. A psychotherapist is an objective observer who can help to normalize what is happening to you.